The Rights...

So today I had a huge debate with a brother about the misconception that women who dress in mini-skirts and the like do NOT deserve, nor should expect to be treated badly or called whores... His comment 'if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen... that women who dress like that should not be surprised to be harassed. In Europe, and all western countries , there are women who are harassed for wearing the hijab. So why is it so difficult for people in both the west and the east to see that these two phenomenon are one and the same and neither should be condoned?

Thankfully, there were other brothers around to help me translate what I was trying to say for his benefit. When I say translate, I mean into 'man' language because he wasn't understanding it the way I was trying to explain it. The nicest thing about the whole debate is that everyone was polite and considerate when presenting their arguments. One is not always that blessed.

So: today's topic, should you not have already guessed, is the treatment of women, specifically in Islam.

Years ago I worked for two Muslim doctors, at seperate times and it was pure chance that they both (gynaecologists) happened to be Muslim. I was pretty ignorant about Islam at the time but they always struck me in their convictions and actions as being very gentle and morally grounded people. One of our patients taught me my first lesson in Islam. She said there were misconceptions due to misinterpretation of particular texts (sound familiar, any of you bible readers?). She cited a passage where it is said that a man is to treat his woman as he does his fields. The uneducated (read: ignorant or misogynistic), she said, take this to mean that the woman is her property to do with as he will, where as the educated (read: enlightened, respectful) man will know that if he neglects his fields, nothing will grow and he will become hungry and may starve.

***Think, and think again...***

I also learned in that time that Muslims don't all agree on everything. Where as Dr. Nr. 1 didn't believe at all in abortion, Dr. Nr. 2 would perform them up until 8 weeks on the claim that the soul didn't enter the body until 8 weeks gestation. As it happens, I had an abortion whilst working for Dr. Nr. 1 and when I told him he was completely non-judgemental. I was harder on myself. I ended up marrying the man I was with at the time, and he came and held my hand through the procedure, but to be honest, after having gone through it once I cannot imagine ever wanting to do that again. I HATED myself after that. I was upset that the so-called counselling I received was 'are you certain'? *Five minutes* is not enough to understand the gravity of such a decision. I had based my decision on the fact that I had only been with this man for three months and we weren't married and I was too young etc. Plus, we in the 'Liberal West' are raised with doctrines like 'her body, her choice'. In retrospect, there was no danger of the potential child being raised in poverty... and it wasn't a worry that my life would be inconvenienced (the charge of so many anti-abortionists when they are attacking anyone who has made that choice): I was just deathly afraid of this new and unplanned element in my life and didn't take time or consult my family about what I should do. Having the abortion is the one true regret I have in my life. Now, does this back up the claim that abortion has no place in an Islamic context? Theoretically, yes. See my statement on theory a little further on. The *social* issues in any culture first have to be addressed and then we can believe there is no 'need' for abortions.

For anyone of you who follows American politics, did you ever think it was ironic that Liberals support the right to Abortions yet oppose the death penalty, and Conservatives only care about the unborn (and to quote George Carlin 'They'll do anything for the unborn, but once you're born, you're on your own http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvF1Q3UidWM) and want to kill anyone they think has perpetrated a heinous enough crime, neve rmind that they may have been wrongly convicted?

And, to return to the original topic, the treatment of women in Islam.

Just like any theory, it is wonderful on paper, but when implemented, the practice ranges from 'excellent' to 'despicable'. Of course, the press never focuses on the success stories. Happy people don't sell as many papers or advertising slots as the oppressed or those suffering tragedy. I suspect that it has about the same statistical 'success rate' as in other faiths, depending on the adherence to the Qur'an or not. In an ideal Muslim partnership, each partner respects and supports the other. Traditionally, in Muslim based countries, the man is the breadwinner, and responsible for the whole family... mother and sisters included. Hence the unequal division of inheritance. But like all other societies holding these 'traditional views', nothing could be further from the truth. Women in all societies have worked outside the home at one time or another and continue to do so. They have done so to make sure there was food on the table and all other necessities were fulfilled, and perhaps for a bit of luxury. For those equally divided households, why not uphold the equality of the people, both male and female?

Reminding each other of our duties and responsibilities is one way in which we can improve things within our own communities.

A small but vocal minority of Muslims are also starting to speak out against the practice of circumcision. This is something confined only to the Hadiths & Sunnah and not even all of the ones on the topic of hygiene. There are many countries who have banned female 'genital mutilation' and for good reason: the most severe versions are horrific to even think about. But something was pointed out to me, and I have been unable to forget it ever since. Not only does circumcision, male or female, not appear in the Qur'an, but there are many passages which speak out against the practice entirely. Allah says quite clearly that he has created us in the 'most perfect of forms' and we are forbidden to alter Allah's creation, even the cutting of cattle's ears is not permitted, so why do some Muslims protest against tattoos and say it's forbidden, yet have no problem in permanently altering the sexual organs of their children? If you have any theories or comments, I welcome them, but I would appreciate it if you can restrain yourself to polite and thought out correspondence.

In the meantime, as a whole, we Muslims have a long way to go in the stride for all HUMAN RIGHTS. Not just that of women or men or children. And all societies are struggling with their own daemons. I suggest that the first step to solving our problems is to stop pointing the finger at other countries and cultures and start owning the problems closest to home, and only then can we think about making the world a better place. The best way to preach is to live by example. I pray all of you have success in presenting the  best way to live through your actions and words. May you be safe and fed and warm and your sleep be peaceful and your days filled with happiness.

Wasalam u alikum
The peace of the Lord be with you