Holidays (holydays)

So this, being my first year as a Muslim, am not going to be able to do everything  perfectly (who can ever achieve perfection, it's time for your ascension...), but after much debating about it, I gave in and put up the Tree this year... "Shirk!" I hear some cry! Well, really? Is it really?!

This smacks of the language police  in Quebec, who are most famous for the debacle of fining a chinese restaurant for having chinese only signs (you know the ones, hand written on 81/2x11 sheets of paper and taped to the window?) Well, very often those signs are not offered in English, let alone French and the law states that all signs in Quebec must be at least twice the size in French than in foreign languages. Even in a Chinese Restaurant...

While researching the matter, I came to the conclusion that it couldn't possibly be Shirk: for the following reasons:

1) Shirk (idolatry) is making partners with God, so unless I actually connect the tree with some sort of Pagen god of trees, or celebrate it with the purpose of stating that I believe Jesus was separate from God in some way: [I am going to have to do a piece on the trinity one of these days - but perhaps I'll go talk to a scholar who is better versed in theology of Christianity than I to describe better the concept of the trinity as actually being one God: like the 99 attributes of Allah doesn't mean that Allah is split into 99 parts, just those are ways trying to understand Allah: so it is, from my meagre understanding, with the Holy Trinity (all God, no filler)] there is no way in heck this could be considered idolatry.

2) The tree doesn't originate from Christianity. It was adopted from an early tradition of hanging boughs of evergreens over one's door and having a decorated tree in the Winter Solstice (21st of Dec.) to be a sign of life when all the rest of the earth was dead (nee: sleeping). In ancient times, people thought it kept the spirits of the dead at bay.

3) The tree is simply a matter of aesthetics now. It's culture & It's lasting as a family tradition. In future, inshallah, should I be married, then I will have more support on how to celebrate the Eid festivals. And if not, then I shall have to learn these things on my own, albiet it will be more difficult...

My daughter can enjoy the best of both worlds: that of an agnostic Christmas and the proper Islamic holidays with me. She will grow up with the best of both worlds. In any case, the tree is for decoration, for the change of seasons, for putting presents under which we exchange with love and affection: even though our presents these days tend to be more focused on spending time with each other: taking a family holiday etc.

And here's the thing about traditions and religions (Which are not mutually inclusive, though some seem to mix them all up): I know that if we visit 'back home', we will be invited to Hanukkah with the family who I grew up down the street from. Nothing wrong with that either: It's the same God, and remembering the history of one of God's miracles. What could be possibly wrong with that?

For some reason, there are people who assume that just because one 'holy-day' is celebrated in one religion, that they would be going against their own faith should they celebrate it, or even to say 'Merry Christmas' to someone they know is a Christian. If someone I know who knows I'm now Muslim greets me with 'Eid Mubarak', then that is, to me a sign that they know my beliefs and respect them and only wish me the best. Wishing each other good on holy-days is only a way of celebrating our mutual brother-and sister-hood. It promotes unity and understanding. Why do so many people have a problem with that? That just smacks to me of 'I know better than you, and if you don't do as I say, then you're going to hell!'. Well, it's my understanding that were supposed to end our arguments, as Muslims with 'and only Allah knows best'...

If you are really concerned about committing Shirk, you can always wish people a 'Happy Holiday', which is nondescript enough to be applicable to anyone and for anyone.

I, for one, will not worry about these little things. And I won't follow the 'advice' from someone who doesn't really know about the religion they are criticizing in the first place.

It's hard

Instead of talking about some broad subject that I think has been misunderstood by one person/group or another, I thought it a good idea to get a little more personal. Many people (mostly people who were born Muslim) have asked me about the circumstances surrounding my conversion and although it would make for a good made-for-TV movie script, it seems to me to be less important - this pivotal & transformational moment in my life - than the daily things that have changed, the difficulties I feel I'm facing in completing & the questions I have. My circumstances also dictate the terms of some of the difficulties I'm facing, and aren't necessarially all to do with my new-found faith.

So I guess, this is it: the confessions part.

Since my conversion, I have not prayed every day on time. And there have been some days when it was like pulling teeth just to make myself get up and pray even once, let alone five times. Learning and praying alone has a bit to do with that. And it's easy to say 'go daily to the Masjid, but when you work full time and are a single mother, then that isn't always an option. And there's no Masjid in my neighbourhood. Alhumdulillah, I have had lots of help from my friends, both new and old, who are there to help with anything I need when I ask: pronounciation, help with memorization, and in the larger Mosque in the area, when I do go, there is always a sister there who will help me with repetition and will teach me more of the chanting method of recitation, which is something that always seems to soothe my soul. I am thankful that this point seems to get easier with time, but even on the days when nothing seems to work, I can come back to my prayer mat, refocus, chant and bow my head, acknowledging 'I know you will not forget me, and I promise to remember you'.

The rest is less a confession and more of a 'I don't know how to handle this' statement.

Ramadan: to be honest, I didn't have too much trouble fasting this past year. My friends teased me a bit saying 'why didn't you wait until after Ramadan to convert? You could make it easy on yourself? Well, what can I say? When our Lord told me to do this, in not so many words, my first thought was not to ask God 'oh, the timing is bad, could we take this issue up in a couple months? ;-) What was difficult on Ramadan (and all the other holidays) is simply the unfamiliarity with the traditions. What is the meaning of it all? OK, the general meaning of Ramadan I think I understand, but then there is the festival Eid...I have so many things to read, I don't think I'll get through the list before the rapture (if I live that long). Anyway, my point is that during Eid, I really hadn't a clue of what I was supposed to do. Unfortunately my friends had been invited with other's to eat, so leaning on them was not an option this time.

Speaking of Eid, what am I supposed to do with my Child? I have the feeling that it will be fine to introduce children of new converts to these traditions in a group, but not to try and make them accept these things at home all at once. We have traditions ourselves, and so I am putting up a tree, not with the intention of committing blasphemy (and to be honest, I think alot of people make too big a deal out of this - the belief in one's heart is not reflected by the clothes they wear nor what decorations they decide to put up in winter. Naturally, I don't use crosses, but then again, I never did: I always thought that sort of thing was gory, and possible wholey inaccurate. Plus, there is a whole sect who celebrates the birthday of Mohammed (PBUH), so why shouldn't people celebrate the birthday of Prophet Jesus (PBUH)? (Nevermind that some biblical historians think he was born in the summer). Tradition. Hum.

Then there is the matter of love and 'half our deen' and all that good stuff. I'm a single mother.

I'm divorced, not old, not young: still have some good eggs in me and lots of love to share: would love to procreate once more but I'm not willing to just marry the first one that's 'good enough' that comes along. Not that there is anything wrong with getting married for stability, but I need love: and I need to be understood, and I worry that my cultural background will cause difficulties in finding a Muslim husband: and I understand the rules laid out about marriage, but I'm not a child anymore and if I mutually fall in love with even an Athiest, who is respectful of my faith and beliefs, and allows our child to be raised with me in prayer, then I don't think I will pass up the chance for happiness. However, if you know of a nice, single Muslim man who could handle an inquisitive, sharp, intelligent, sometimes judgemental, loving, passionate and dedicated new convert, please feel free to let me know ;-)

And that's it for now... until the next installment... Wasalam u alikum

May God bless and protect you.

Food

An English idiom proclaims: 'You are what you eat.'

I have had a number of thoughts regarding food the last months: well, to be honest, I think more and more about food as I grow older and more interested in issues of health with regards to one's diet, but conversely want to keep a balance: not to become obsessed with diet like I observe some to be.

So when it comes to eating in an Islamic manner as suggested, I have discovered a whole host of viewpoints ranging from the indifferent to the obsessed (that is my perception).

The matter of certain things we are not allowed to eat seems, on the face of it, pretty clear.

But on researching the matter further, I was alarmed to see that the 'rules' according to some are so convoluted that the average person would have to carry a guidebook with them to the supermarket to do their shopping.

To elucidate, here is a list I found of e-numbers and the halal/haram status of these ingredients:

http://special.worldofislam.info/Food/numbers.html

I can certainly understand the issue of pork-based ingredients: this, to me, seems non debatable.

But when it comes down to the issue of food dyes, for example, here is where I think the issue becomes pedantic.

Pork is simply forbidden, right from the start, whereas alcohol was not banned right away. The reasons against alcohol seem to me to be completely due to the intoxicating nature of the substance. I see all sorts of special alcohol-free products on the market especially for Muslims and some of them aren't even consumable (like perfumes, for example)! It is my understanding that the alcohol used in perfumes isn't even one that is edible.

When it comes to food dyes, many are carried in an alcohol solvent. But what should be the real issue here? would the normal consumption of food dyes ever result in intoxication? How about the spraying of perfume: even in excessive amounts?

To cut a long story short, I found my way pretty easy to resolve the 'problem' by thinking about the intention on the original ban.

Not only that, but my personal habits with food tend to exclude these additives. How so?

1) Why eat something made by a company which is more likely to be interested in turning a profit than in your health? One fabulous example I found was the misnomer of 'Light' or 'healthy' products. I will illustrate this with a mainstay of American convenience food... Campbell's condensed soups.

I compared the label information for many of the chicken noodle soups that Campbell produces, and this is what I found: (yes, I *know* the chicken is probably not halal, but this is an example to elucidate my point on companies having a vested interest in your dollar over your health).

The biggest difference between the 'healthy' versions of the canned chicken noodle soup and the standard, was that the standard had a much higher dose of sodium. The rest of the differences seem rather negligible. Except the double and mega noodle soups have that much more noodle, and hence that much more carbohydrate content=more calories that are designed for immediate use, so use with caution.

One of the slogans on Campbell's website is:

Campbell’s^® soups have nutritious vegetables,
farm-grown ingredients, and delicious taste
to help you along the road to happiness.

'Farm-Grown ingredients'... probably some factory farm using GM wheat  and other veg being sprayed by round-up.

Let's think about GM crops for a minute:

Genetic material is fired into the seed of the plants to give it some property it didn't have before.

This is NOT the same process as making hybrids, where you cross-polinate and let God's design do it's thing. Forget piercing, forget tattoos, forget slitting the ears of cattle... It seems to me that this is the real 'change to God's design' Allah warns about in the Qur'an.

Tell me what you think...
And the preposterous suggestion that some soup is going to increase your happiness level is somehow going to be increased by this industrially produced product shows to what extent the company is willing to go to in order to brainwash you (yes, I really mean this) into buying their product. 

As for the dyes, I cannot see how a product which is transported through an alcohol-based solute could ever damn me to hell or be considered 'immoral' or 'wrong'. And in the end, whether or not you feel it's important to avoid these things, the best food you can make is that which is purchased locally and made from the base ingredients: 'home made', and you are then certain what is in there without having to carry a text book with you to the supermarket.

Shout out to my awesome sisters and brothers

Dispite some garbage going on in my life, I would like to make a short post to the wonderful brothers and sisters in my life, with whom I have been blessed in having some time together with on this earth. There are three sisters in particular for which I have been remembering in my Dua's.

The first is on vacation 'back home'. She grew up between two cultures and she has really studied alot and put much effort into her faith and understanding it. Everytime we have spoken about some difficulty, trial or tribulation, she has had an appropriate Hadith to quote from: and it always resonates as truth. She is much younger than I yet exudes wisdom. She's now pregnant and having a bit of a rought time, so when you pray, may I ask that you remember her and all woman having a difficult pregnancy?

Another sister  of mine has had suffered the last few years with things which I think sometimes I would die from. Death on all sides, other family tragedies, pain-in-the-butt administrative people... and yet she manages to continue on and is always there to smile with me and laugh. Please pray with me for all those who are suffering from grief.

The third is a new convert like me, except her story is slightly different. She was used by a crazy guy who disappeared and ended up marrying some other chick because he was taking the 'half our deed' thing a little too seriously, and he now seems to regret it and still tries to talk to her. She is still on anti-depressants and having difficulty coping, but seems to be finally emerging from the cloud of co-dependancy. Please pray with me for all those who have been too trusting and been discarded. You are the ones who have learned the hard way why we are cautioned not to have sexual relations before marriage. Life is not a game and try to avoid having those in your life who treat it as one.

Unfortunately there are all too many stories of supposedly islamic men doing weird and bizzare anti-islamic things: and even more unfortunate is the fact that humans seem to be  all to willing to focus on the bad and ignore the good, which brings me to my brothers: and you know who you are:

- all those who are good and gentle and understanding and faithful and loving and kind and hard workers etc. You who are quiet and don't cause a ruccus - who put up with all sorts of nonsense and don't complain but just do your bit: make that much more difference in the world.

Sometimes it may seem like someone is trying to shove you into a box, slap a label on you or pigeon-hole you. I pray you will do your best to ignore the idiocratic hate as much as possible and stay true to yourself, and above all, stay true to your faith. It is difficult, but in the end Allah will be there to guide us. And last but not least, I ask you to consider the fact that perhaps all people, proclaimed believers or not, are really your brothers and sisters as well. I believe it would serve us well to treat everyone with the same level of respect. There is no reason to limit your contact with people of other faiths, for what are you afraid of? That you will be mislead? If you are secure in your faith, then nothing can damage it. If we do hurtful things to one another, it is only because we are afraid of something - and that something cannot hurt us more than we can hurt ourselves.

So my concrete prayer today: let us be gentle with one another and not forget that we are all islands in the stream...

I wish you pleasent days and restful nights.